But TODAY school started back up for my daughter. I'm heading out to teach again this afternoon. I'm playing Beethoven next weekend. I'm getting serious about the recitals I have scheduled for next month, I'm thinking ahead to some auditions the month after. I've been making reeds at a break-neck speed.
I am SO EXCITED to be back in the saddle and back in a routine and SO READY to do this year even better than last year.
I called 2018 my Year of Temperance, and I used it to back off, very intentionally, from many of the things that were keeping me busy and frantic. I did not accept new students. I withdrew from SEVERAL orchestra committees. I was far more intentional about my self-care. I worked hard to come to acceptance of what I could do and what I could not do at home while simultaneously running a business and working as a performer and educator. I now consider myself fully forgiven for not being able to put hot, multi-item dinners on the table every night. Sometimes my husband cooks, sometimes we get takeout, sometimes we just warm up soup. I can't care about everything, and I finally got comfortable with that last year.
By the end of the year, though, I was ready to re-expand a bit. I did more soul-searching and realized that my word for 2019 is Generosity. Generosity of spirit. Generosity in performance. Generosity to myself and to others. This doesn't take away from my hard-won self-care practices - but it does mean that I have a framework to put my choices in. Am I teaching this lesson to make $37, or to SHARE my knowledge and HELP this person to improve? Does this phrase GIVE something to the audience? Does this piece GIVE what I need it to? Am I posting this particular thing on Social Media because I need to say it, or because I think someone else needs to hear it?
Right now, this minute, I'm working on some grant proposals. I can't wait for them to be submitted, so I can focus on my more interesting projects. I'm working on a book. That's not for me, it's for YOU. I will soon get back to my Five Minute Reedmaker series, and to do some live videos for everyone to enjoy. Did I mention I have a recital series next month? Watch this space for updates! (or my website, or my Facebook Page, or...)
So. I know it's the 7th already, but this feels like the first day of my New Year, the Year of Generosity. Join me!